“You want to do WHAT to my hands?!”

Okay, so that’s a funny title for anyone to start off with. But I am sure that this is something that will be understood and appreciated by fellow fans of Jem.

I have collected Jem for what, about 14 years now. I have ripped off doll heads, rooted new hair, painted new faces, made new clothing…even replaced broken or missing hands. I thought I had done everything with my dolls that could possibly be done, and I had the body parts lying around my room to show it…but no, apparently it’s not that simple.

You see, I am an Integrity Jem doll virgin.

I recently buckled to the whole Integrity Jem Doll line craze, on account of the fact Jetta had finally been released. I’m still waiting for my Jetta doll, but in the meantime I had the opportunity to pick up Stormer and her accessories loose. Stormer is my other pet Misfit, so I jumped at it. And so, last week, Stormer came to live with me.

A fact I’m quite sure she’s already regretting.

I actually do have Stormer’s instructions. Like any good doll collector with her dolls’ best interests in mind I shoved those away in the drawer with my bits and pieces of things formerly known as Jem dolls (it’s a bit of a horror show in there, you don’t want pictures) and proceeded to make it up.

The guitar was fine. The strap went on eventually, and I got the cable hooked up. No biggie. The necklace was next, and that kept coming undone, but we got it in the end.

Ultimately, the bracelets were the killer.

I dunno if everyone reading has an IT Jem doll of some description, but unlike the good old 1980s Misfit bracelets that used to stick to the doll’s arm (well, the Mexican dolls’ bracelets did) and which looked rather like Monster Munch covered in gold paint…see fig 1…these are proper bracelets.

fig 1: Spooky Likeness

Not only that, these bracelets lack the convenient slit in the side that the old ones had, for kids and people like me to successfully get them on the dolls’ arms. IT plan for a rather more sophisticated audience. Unfortunately for me, that means that to get on the jewellery for IT Jem dolls, you have to remove their hands.

Gulp.

I’m not a squeamish person. I’m generally game to give things a try. But I swear, my heart genuinely skipped a beat when I pulled Stormer’s hand out the first time. It came out, but you know, getting it back in again was a pretty nerve-wracking affair. Anyone who’s done this will know that there are 3 little notches on the fitting for each hand. Mine snapped back in place 2 notches, then refused to go the third.

I looked at Stormer. She looked at me. I think we were both a little panicky at that point and wondering what was so great about wearing jewellery anyway…but she’s a Misfit and I’m a Misfit fan, so there was nothing to be done but tough it out.

Stormer is now standing on my cabinet, eying me very warily. I can’t blame her. All I can think is that when the next doll arrives…maybe they’ll just do without the jewellery 😉
Stormer, the deed done, looking Misfitty. And scared. She’s not the only one. It could’ve ended a lot worse.